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God, who made this expansive, mind-blowingly big universe chose to create life on this little ball of dirt called Earth.  Then He chose to love the little fleshly beings who were made in His image.

These little beings, who are irritatingly fickle, turn away from God too many times to count but He keeps taking them back, never once proving fickle to them, but faithful to His promise.

God shrinks himself, all his massive glory and power, to be contained by a tiny zygote which becomes an embryo, which grows into a baby and is born to a human woman.

This baby grew into the man named Jesus, who was fully God and fully man at the same time.

Mary and Martha grieved over their brother’s death and wondered why Jesus didn’t come when they first told him his friend Lazarus was dying.   He waited for days.  Of course when he did come something greater than just healing happened.  Lazarus got a second chance at life.

One night the disciples panicked as a tempest just about washed them into the sea.  While they tried to bail out the water filling their boat Jesus slept peacefully at the front.   It wasn’t until they woke him up that he did something.  He silenced the storm with a word.

Jesus told his followers that unless they ate his body and drank his blood they had no life in them.

Jesus promised eternal life if we trust in Him.  Eternal!  No end?!  Sometimes just thinking about it makes me afraid because I can’t wrap my mind around the concept.

A young mom is miraculously cured from stage 4 cancer.  Her family rejoices in awe and celebration.  Her husband and small children will get to keep their wife/mom.  Three years later the cancer recurs and soon after takes her life.

Christians around the world are beaten, tortured and killed for their faith.

A couple who has prayed and prayed and PRAYED for a baby cannot get pregnant, no matter what they try.  Another couple who weren’t planning on having any more kids gets pregnant.

I’m celebrating with friends of mine who put their house up for sale and in two days have it sold!  They don’t even know where they are going next or what they’re going to do.  I ache for another friend of mine who has had her house on the market for months, her husband living in another state for his job.  They are apart, they have prayed and prayed…nothing.

I have choices when I am face to face with something I don’t understand about God.  I can become bitter and angry, I can lose faith and think He’s not who He says He is, I can wait and watch, I can keep praying even if the silence from heaven is deafening, I can trust, I can feel sorry for myself, I can be jealous of other’s answered prayers, I can be thankful for having what I need today, I can look for a lesson and hope to grow through it all, or I can withdraw and give up.   I’m sure there are many other choices or possible reactions, good or bad, right or wrong, helpful or destructive, in times like this.

space-stars471The truth is God is a mystery.  I cannot fully understand Him.  When I read about the massive size of our universe, the millions, billions and quadrillions of light year miles between galaxies and stars, and then think about our tiny planet and little lives in comparison, I’m blown away and bewildered.  What kind of God do I really serve?  How big is He, really??  How does He know each of us, hear my voice among all the others in prayer, or orchestrate good outcomes for my life?  How is that possible??

If I had a god I could explain completely would I respect and revere Him?  Would having a small god only as wise or knowing as me make me trust Him to answer my prayers the best way?  Would having a god with limitations give me hope?  Would a god who only loved as much as I do on one of my best days cause me to willingly surrender my life to Him?

Instead of becoming indignant when God is “slow” to answer my prayers or answers in a way I didn’t expect, what if I embraced the mystery of my God and continued to trust Him?   I remember that I AM limited, I am flawed, I am only capable of loving so much, I am small, I am NOT all-knowing (and how), I’m finite.   That inspires me to worship my God who is without limits, who knows more than I’m even aware someone could know, who is holy and sinless, who IS love in its purist form, who is bigger than any brain can fathom, who had no beginning and will have no end!

The Bible tells us that we WILL understand someday or at least know God completely – which also boggles the mind, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”   I Corinthians 13:12

I sometimes feel like Job when he had been complaining and questioning for days and getting no answer.  God finally answered and reminded Job who He really is.  This was Job’s response (and mine),

“I know that you can do anything,
and no one can stop you.
3 You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’
It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
things far too wonderful for me….
5 I had only heard about you before,
but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
6 I take back everything I said,
and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”   Job 42:2-6

God, forgive me for thinking I can really understand you or really know all there is to know about you.  Thank you for loving me in spite of my smallness and my small thinking.  I trust You and rest in You, even though You are a mystery!