I haven’t blogged very consistently lately – haven’t had much to say. I don’t think anyone would want to read something I write just because I feel I should write. It’s more fun to write when I’ve had a new realization, when God has shown me something new, when something I’ve seen or heard parallels something in my walk with Him and all of you. I’ve felt somewhat detached at times, not bad, just kind of quiet…it’s hard to describe. Sometimes I think that the months of emotional ups and downs depleted me and my emotions are in short supply right now – does that make sense? I feel good, peaceful, optimistic, thankful, etc. just nothing in extremes now. Famous last words. I’m sure now that I’ve actually typed that the floodgates will burst open and I’ll be a blithering idiot spouting emotional exclamations any minute now.
I do have a few things that have come to mind, maybe worth mentioning:
We’re in the midst of winter where I live and it’s been a long, cloudy, cold one. It’s gotten pretty snowy in the past week or so with a little ice and slush mixed in for fun. Winter is not my favorite season, in fact it’s my least favorite BUT (and it’s a big but) I have heard God tell me not to complain. I’ve heard many complaints lately about weather and life in general and it really is a drag. I feel as if, when we complain, we’re saying to God, “Nope, what you made isn’t good” or “I don’t like what you’re giving me. Sorry.” I was reading in Genesis the other day about Noah and the ark and how God promised with his rainbow symbol that from that point on season would follow season, the earth would continue in its pattern without interruption and total destruction. You know, that’s a comfort to me. There’s a reason for winter and if we didn’t have it I think we’d have bigger problems on our hands. Winter is important in my spiritual life, too, I think. Time when things are being nourished and prepped for zestful, springtime growth but not yet. The quiet time under cold and clouds is necessary. So…don’t complain! Whenever you feel like grumbling, thank God for something instead. I know I’d rather hear thankful words and I’m sure God would!
I’ve also had a growing frustration with people getting their noses bent out of shape over petty issues. Of course, one of my biggest frames of reference is the Church in general (though it happens in just about any context involving people) and I have concluded that just about all of church conflict or unhappiness is selfishness. I’m still pondering it. What do you think? It seems when someone is unhappy it’s because something is not done their way or the way they’re used to or they just plain don’t like it. Very rarely someone might be unhappy or speak up because of moral failure or true injustice happening, but that is the exception rather than the rule in my opinion. Everyone, including me: Get over it! We have to stop thinking of ourselves, our preferences, our styles. God showed me recently that I had been, in a sense, a church snob and that He doesn’t like that. People’s hearts are key. Jesus said true worshipers worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. (John 4:24) He didn’t necessarily say they worship Him with untucked shirts and faux hawks or 3-piece suits and neckties on. He didn’t say it was by singing hymns or praise songs, with an organ or with a rockin’ band. He said it was spiritual, coming from the heart. If I go to a church that sings songs I don’t know or like, but I see people loving and really praising God, I can get into that! It’s all about God. It’s NOT about me. It’s not about you.
In re-reading this, it sounds like I’m ranting a bit. In my continual policy of being honest and up front, I’ve gotta say “take it for whatever it’s worth to you.”
I will now drive my little quiet self home from work. Yay! Thank you, God, for my job. Thank you for my car which still works and has a heater. Thank you for my shoes. Thank you for food at home to eat and for my family waiting there to hug. Thank you for health and the strength to move my muscles. Thank you for oxygen (Just thought about that – that’s pretty important). Thank you for giving me a rather large nose to breath it in and smell nice things like Bath & Body products. Thank you for my friends who fill my heart with love and the joy of just being together and knowing that’s enough. Thank you for Skype (that’s a new one). Thanks for hugs, that was a good idea! Thank you for funny stuff and laughter – it feels so good. Thank you for your love and patience. Thank you for letting me be one of your kids. Thank you for everything really, God. You did a good job on it all.