I started reading a book called “The Me I Want to Be” by John Ortberg and it’s really good. Of course, it takes me a long time to read books because I start them and then don’t often sit still long enough to read them again or finish them. I have a lot of books by my bed that have been started and not finished yet, with little paper bookmarks sticking up between pages about 1/3 of the way from the beginning. That’s just one of my weird quirks I guess. There have been some stories that were so good I’d take the book with me everywhere and read every spare moment I could get. That hasn’t happened too often, though.
You know what else is weird about me? When walking on square tile or linoleum floors I often step in every other square in a pattern. When sitting, I almost always twitch my toes in a rhythm. I pop my thumbs all the time. My girls think that is hilarious and strange. It’s almost subconscious. I have a round, red nose caused by a condition called “rhinophyma” which is what W. C. Fields had. It’s typically found in males who are alcoholics, which I am neither so go figure. I love people and get energized by spending time with friends but also feel like an introvert sometimes and want to be alone. I’m perfectionistic, impulsive, too silly sometimes, sensitive and emotional, love easily, pretty patient most of the time, too quick to act sometimes, selfish, can be obsessive…the list goes on. I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin, though. God’s been showing me that each person is so unique; there isn’t one best type of personality. Each one of us is made on purpose for a reason and that’s good in His eyes. There’s no need to compare myself to someone else thinking I should be different than I am or that I’m less desirable because of my personality, strengths/weaknesses, or quirks. I want to grow and be the best me I can be, but I don’t have to change into a different person to be my personal best. Neither do you.
I will probably post more as I read more of this great, thought-provoking book. Here are a few snippets from the first chapter that really encouraged me:
- I am not my handiwork; my life is not my project – it is God’s.
- As God helps me grow, I will change, but I will always be me….God won’t throw out what he started with in me – he’ll just mold, move and redirect it.
- It’s true the Bible says we become new creations in Jesus, but maybe that really means new as in restored to the original or intended condition, not a completely different me. I love that image! (from chapter 1, pp. 14-16)
I keep learning, probably will all my life, that my worth comes from God and not other people. I believe we’re supposed to do our best to live at peace with those around us, but when it comes down to it I’m choosing to please God and be more concerned with what He thinks about my actions, my words, and my heart than the opinions of other “creations” around me.
Speaking of creation, if God can make every single snowflake different from any other snowflake – a tiny, chilly, intricate masterpiece cut with His own hand out of frozen water that floats down from the clouds and then soon melts away – why would I think that any two people are made completely alike or that He even wants us to be all alike? Is there one design of snowflake that is best, the others being inferior? Not as beautiful? Not as useful in winter to cover the trees and ground? God seems to love variety – almost showing off in His ability to keep creating uniqueness. That gives me courage to settle into myself, the me I really am, the me God meant for me to be.
To see some beautiful photos of actual snowflakes, click here.