My friend, Cindy, told me about a book that I need to read called “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard Harley. In it, the author uses the idea of bank accounts to describe relationships in this way: each positive interaction we have with someone is like a deposit in the love bank between us and that person. The more positive interactions, the higher the balance goes. Negative interactions are withdrawals, of course. The main point of this is that the higher the balance between you and someone else, the less noticeable damage a negative interaction will have.
My parents and I have “known each other” for 43 years. Their love bank account balance is huge as far as I’m concerned. If we have a negative encounter (can’t remember the last one of those), disagreement, or misunderstanding, it will barely ding the account and will be much easier to rebuild the balance afterward and keep it growing.
However, if I have a negative encounter with someone I’ve only talked with a few times, there’s a lot less balance to work with and the dip down from withdrawal will be a lot more obvious and painful. It’s even worse if it’s someone I’ve just met and they have no balance with me at all – a negative interaction puts them in the red.
This really makes sense to me. I think the love bank could also be labeled “trust.” That builds up right along with positive stuff and love between two people.
I got to thinking about my relationship with God. It’s a good thing He has a big balance in my love bank because when disappointments or misunderstandings come along, it doesn’t make a very big dent in our relationship. There’s too much trust and love built up from years of walking together and being father/daughter.
Sometimes a number of disappointments or withdrawals come along in a row and the rising balance takes a hit. Lately there have been lots of things I thought would work out one way and turned out a different way. The time between “deposits” sometimes has seemed really long and the wait goes on and on. My heart has to purposefully remember to hope only in God and NOTHING else. It is hard to do! For me, that means the ULTIMATE trust in God – trust that He really is good, that He loves me, that He really is working out plans for me and my family, that He hasn’t forgotten us, that He really is with us all the time, and so on.
Even with the piled up high, abounding bank account God has in my heart from all the good He’s done for me, for all the love He’s given, for forgiveness, for guidance, for patience…moments of “withdrawal” come and can make it difficult to trust.
I choose to trust Him. I choose to remember all the deposits God’s made into my heart and life. Compared to all of life, these last few months are just an insignificant dip in the balance.