It’s one thing to say you believe in heaven and another to keep believing when you’ve lost someone you love and your faith means they’re actually in heaven now. Are they really?
It’s one thing to proclaim God will provide and another to have to depend on that claim, waiting for some miracle or revelation of something you can do because you’re out of money and have rent to pay or an empty pantry.
It’s one thing to say you trust God when you’re full, employed, and healthy, it’s another to keep trusting when you’re awaiting test results, get laid off, or lose all your earthly resources trying to navigate this tangled, crazy economy we’re in. Can I trust from ground zero? From square one? Even when I’ve been to square one several times now?
When you have absolutely no clue what the future holds, can you rest in His peace? Is your faith in God a warm, thick quilt that wraps you at night so you sleep soundly? Do you trust Him?
I usually have to kick fear and doubt away from clutching at my ankles so I can let go and actually trust God. I’ll admit sometimes he waits long enough to catch me that as I free-fall I start to panic, my heart races, dread starting to creep up and over my skin. Like daring trapeze artists we fly. If I keep my arms outstretched His strong hands will grab hold of me at just the right moment and swing me up to a steady place to stand.
I can say, “Sure, I’ll come over there God ‘cuz I know you’re good and you’ll make a way for me even though I can scarcely make out exactly where You are and how to get there” but then I have to actually move my feet and take steps in that direction, putting shoe to the pavement so to speak. Will this square of path crumble under my foot if I press down? Is it safe? Will it hold me? I guess I’m gonna find out!
God has been growing our faith and trust and it’s gotten pretty strong. I still have waves of anxiety now and then or sneaky fears that try to take over until I recall what God’s done for me and my family in the past and how He has loved us. Then it’s a choice. And I choose to trust.
A favorite BarlowGirl song says it so well:
“I’m about to let go and live what I believe
I can’t do a thing now but trust that You’ll catch me…”