I know what it would have to say: “It’s not about you.”
What is this constant, nagging, sneaky and subtle need we have to focus on ourselves? It seems I work hard not to and ask God to help me put self aside and no sooner think I’ve made progress than I notice I’m thinking about myself again…or giving myself credit, or assuming something is up to me that is actually up to Him.
It’s one of those long-as-life projects, I think, and it’s not really my project. It’s God’s.
I would probably benefit from having a tattoo that reminded me of this crucial truth every time I saw it. Maybe it would be best across my forehead, backward so that when I looked in the mirror I could read it and remember.
It’s not that I should hate myself, or berate myself. It’s not that I should think of myself as a loser, though sometimes I do. I know God doesn’t want that. It’s just that I remember God’s the potter and I’m the clay. The clay can’t and shouldn’t try to shape itself.
I have to remember that God’s the potter of my girls’ lives, too – my friends’ lives, my husband’s life, and so on. Not me. I’m not responsible for making change or growth happen in their hearts. And in my heart’s joy of leading music and worship on a Sunday, I can play my best and lead the best way I know how, but I don’t and can’t make people experience God’s presence. I can’t make worship happen. Only God can do that and He would appreciate it if I’d step back and remember, thank you very much! (I’m pretty sure he told me that in a loving way this morning – really loudly, but lovingly)
How I long for the day when I’m with Him in heaven and the sculpting of me will be complete. No more mistakes, no more flub ups, no more selfishness, no more inner battle between who I am and who I want to be. What a blessed relief that will be.
God, would you tattoo this hugely important truth on my heart? It’s not about me. Please. Thank you!
God is the one who began this good work in you, and I am certain that he won’t stop before it is complete on the day that Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6 CEV