Let Love in

I’ve been so afraid.

I’ve been running for so long.

Afraid to accept the truth which is so counter

to the concepts I’ve grown up with.

You, Lord, make no sense to me.

The thoughts in my head.

Your love is one I never thought could exist.

One I can’t even begin to comprehend.

And though I know Your love is true.

Though I know Your love is real for me.

I am constantly fighting

this war inside my head.

The battle between Spirit and flesh.

Love and striving.

To wrap my mind around the fact

that a love like Yours exists

and would choose to love me still.

Still.

After everything I’ve done.

After everything I do.

All the times I’ve failed,

I’ve fallen,

I’ve sinned.

That Your love still chooses me.

Time and time again.

When my mind and the world say,

a love like this could never exist.

I know it does,

Because I know You do.

And despite every thought

running wild inside my head

that tells me I don’t deserve this.

That no one could ever love me like this,

I know these lies are only that.

Lies.

Fed to keep me trapped,

to keep me from the fullness,

the freedom,

that You paid such a high price to give.

And despite my wrestle,

despite the fight,

to believe what You’ve said

over every other voice around me,

or in my head,

I know my heart yearns only for You, Jesus.

For Your truth to be planted deep in my heart.

For Your love to grow roots so deep,

nothing could ever uproot them.

My heart yearns to live in love with You

And to live like I’m loved by You.

And how different a life I would live.

How different a life we all would live.

If we lived knowing we are loved.

Loved by a God so wonderful.

By a Love this world could never give.

And we could never earn it

Or work hard enough to get it.

Its already ours.

All we need do

is open up and let Love in.

And that,

I believe,

is the hardest part

of all of it.