I’ve never known a love like this.

We have just finished our sixth week of lectures and while I’ve been in Amsterdam for a little over a month, it feels like I’ve been here for a lifetime, while also feeling like I just got here yesterday!

I had heard from so many of my friends who have done a DTS that it’s like a greenhouse where so much growth happens in such a short time, but I severely underestimated it! Every week is a different topic, and every day I have a new revelation about God, about the world, about myself, and it’s so beautiful but boy oh boy it’s hard to keep up with all of it!

We have a different topic of lectures we focus on each week, one week was Jesus, the next on the Holy Spirit, Biblical Worldview (one of my favorites so far!), and this week we’ve just wrapped up on fear of the Lord.

In Jesus week our speaker spoke about the historical facts surrounding Jesus, the culture at the time, the life Jesus would have lived; the humanity of Jesus. We always talk about the cross in church, and we talk about Jesus being born into the world around Christmas every year, but I haven’t heard many teachings on just how human Jesus really was. His life wasn’t extravagant, it was mundane before His ministry started. And that’s the life God chose to live here on earth He chose to come down as a lowly servant, an average man. The most holy and perfect being in the entirety of the universe, chose to be hurt, betrayed, bruised, and brutally beaten by man, when He could have, in all his power and might, had them all bowing down before Him. But He didn’t because He wanted a relationship with us more than He wanted to be worshiped. He did it all because He loves us.

He did it so that when we cry out, “GOD! THIS HURTS!” He can come to us with, “I know, I understand, I’ve been here too.” And hold us in it.

And that revelation really hit me hard. Jesus is amazing and perfect and awesome and holy and worthy and He understands us. No one else in all of this world could ever say that they know exactly how we feel and understand the depths of our hearts like Jesus can. And that’s the most beautiful thing. That God would willingly bring himself into suffering just to know us and be with us.

After Jesus week, was Holy Spirit week. This was a fun week getting to learn about Holy Spirit and our speaker had some crazy testimonies. Stories of healings and miracles from all over the world and from all the years that he has travelled in missions. It was wild to hear all the ways God is working all over the world and made me excited to see God do that and be part of it.

The next week one of the leaders of my DTS taught on Biblical Worldview and this has by far been one of my favorite weeks. We looked at how different religions view the world and it opened my eyes to so much.

This was the week I had the deepest revelation not only of God’s love for me but for every single person in the whole WORLD! The intentionality God had to create every single person here today. The fact that if you have ever lived on this earth, that means that God wanted you on this earth. That if you’re alive, then you’re here for a reason and you are here to be loved and loved by God.  

We were talking about other religion’s beliefs and I just got absolutely whacked with the fact that God is the only God in any religion that genuinely just wants to loveus. Wants to bewithus, wants relationship with us, wants to be our Father, and our friend. He wants to love us and how special is that? How unique?

I know God is relational. I’ve heard it so many times, I’ve even said it so many times when talking about my own faith.

“Oh, yeah, I don’t believe in religion, I believe in a relationship with Jesus.”

But how many times did I say that, and now I’m actually getting smacked with the reality of that statement!

The fact that the God who created the earth, and the heavens, and the stars, and the birds, and the mountains, and the deepest depths of the oceans, and the biggest galaxies, and the tallest trees wants to be in a relationship with you now and for all of eternity!?!?! Oh my goodness, even typing it out now I’m still wrecked by that! That’s amazing!!!

Whew. God is so good!

So, coming out of that week, I felt my eyes were opened so much to just how incredible God’s love is, and just how big it is, and it made me so excited to go out and tell more people about how loved they are by God!

Then, this last week our topic was fear of the Lord.

Going into it I was, well, fearful. Afraid of seeing all my shortcomings and areas in my life that I still hadn’t surrendered to the Lord. And while, yes, there was definitely some of that, mighty fine, delicious conviction, it was really good and really fruitful.

We had a lot of time this week to reflect on our lives and see where we have either feared the Lord and followed his guidance, or maybe not. While I was ready to go in and see so many areas where I was just this terribly disobedient child, I was actually surprised to see so many areas where the Lord was leading me, even when I didn’t know it. 

Times when I felt alone or like I was wandering in the desert, stepping in a direction, just hoping it was the right one, and He was right there, guiding me, even in those little steps.

And it’s those very steps that have led me to all the biggest leaps! To the amazing places I never thought I would end up, and to the people and relationships I am forever thankful to have been in and still am today. Those steps that led me to be here in Amsterdam today!

Then looking at the areas of my life where I chose something else over God’s guidance, (fear of man, fear of failure, my own pride or ambitions), and how those were always the areas of my biggest hurts and regrets.

But even looking at times where I wandered or chose something else over God (honestly, the times that led to my biggest hurts and regrets, I know, shocker) that God was so merciful and faithful then, to lead me right back to where I was meant to be. How easy it was to turn from them, repent, and follow Him again. And then to see that in His guidance, He always knew my heart better than I did.

Things I let go that I wanted to walk into, in order to walk into what God wanted for me, fit my heart so much better than what I could have ever planned for myself.

These last few weeks, I just can’t get over how personal God is as much as He is holy and mighty. It’s the most contradictory thing to my human brain but it makes my heart come alive. And I think that’s just who He is. A beautiful contradiction.

Someone who will never really make sense to our intellectual minds but the only one who will ever fill our beating hearts and wow, I will follow Him wherever He leads because He is so worthy of it!

That being said:

Some exciting news!

We recently were told where we will be going on our outreach phase to!

We will all be first going to Albania and then we will split into two teams; one will be staying and missioning in Albania, and the other will be going to the Middle East!

We were so excited to find out after such a long time waiting to find out where we would be going! Our leaders made it a game of hide and seek and it was so fun!

We’ve started preparing and researching our countries and it’s coming up so fast. I know we all can’t wait to see what God is going to do while we are there and to see what He is already doing in these places we’ll be going.

This group is so amazing, all of these people I’ve just met who have already become family, amaze me. Everyone’s story is so unique but wow, the strength in some of them really blows me away, and I can’t wait to see how God is going to use all of us for His kingdom.

Thank you for reading along and I hope that your days are blessed!

Love and blessings,

Savannah